Tag: self-care

Pick One

sweatherred

This post and the whole concept was inspired a Peloton class I recently took. Earth shattering and profound, right ;). But actually, it quite profound was for me. One sentence (two words, to be precise) has been with me since the day I took the class. “Pick One”, he said. I have no idea if this is a mantra of his or something spur of the moment, but it’s brilliant. And it’s the simplest way to stay focused on your true north.

Pick One:

Life is made up of a series of moments and choices. In every moment, we can choose this or that… The workout or the sleep-in, the burger or the salad, the yes or the no, the healthy option or the convenient one. You get the idea. Many times we’re on autopilot, and many times we pick the easy, not necessarily the best option.

And here’s what’s important: with each and every choice, you can pick you. It’s that simple. Pick your health, pick your wellness, pick your mental health. Prioritize how you want to feel, your health, your relationships, your wealth.. whatever it is. Pick You!

If you wake up each day and say “I pick me”, you will start to make choices like exercising when you don’t feel like it, eating healthier meals, stocking your fridge with healthy choices, prioritizing sleep, and so on. You’ll start living in alignment with your values and your priorities. Its probably the simplest way to keep yourself on track. Just pick one!

But I have so many responsibilities, so much I have to do each day, you say. Guess what, my friends, so do I. So does everyone you know. I can’t always prioritize myself, you say. Maybe not, but zoom out. Think big picture. Quit with the excuses. Are those excuses serving you? No? Then stop. Another source of inspiration came from a physician who’s book I’ve read, podcasts I’ve listened to: “You can’t out-excuse me”. Whatever it is you have to give, then you give that. Adapt to what you can do. Find a way.

But I can’t possibly think about every single choice I make all the time. Right. Maybe not. That sounds rather exhausting, but you can improve. You can start to live more consciously. Every bit helps.

But picking me isn’t always good! What about others?! Of course you need to support others, of course you need to show up to work, and of course you need to take care of your life. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again… when you focus on self-betterment, it will have an immeasurable impact on the way you show up for others. I promise. Give it a try. There ain’t no shame in the self-love game. In fact, being a martyr, although seemingly noble, gets you nowhere. I know. I’ve tried it. 🙂

But... What if I still want the hamburger, the sleep in, the glass of wine, or the “easy”. Great, if that’s what you want, then do that!! But did you zoom out, did you consider what matters most to you? If in that moment, you want the joy of a great tasting (but perhaps less healthy) meal, do that. Enjoy the heck out of that chocolate. Then you did it by choice, for joy. But if you did it unconsciously, I’d ask you to reconsider.

But… Quit with the excuses. End of story.

So as you move forward into your day, your week, your month, your life. Just keep that simple phrase in mind: Pick one! And when your choices are guided with this type of conscious intention, you’ll watch the magic of your life unfold.

With love,

Sarah

Side take-home point: You never know how your words will impact another, whether intentional or unintentional. This one random person, on an app, had an immense impact on me. Choose your words and actions carefully.

It’s Not About WHAT You Do; It’s About HOW You Do It

sweatherred

“Mindful”. “Engaged”. “Intentional.” “You can’t control what happens to you, but you can control your reaction”. You can explain this concept in a variety of ways. I’ll explain what’s resonated with me lately.

WHAT IT IS NOT: Fake or sugary. “Have a good attitude”, “Positive Mental Attitude”, “Chin up,” “Look on the Bright Side,” or “Smile”. That all feel like toxic positivity to me.

WHAT IT IS: People who bring joy and are engaged, no matter where they are or what they’re doing. People who are kind, thoughtful, and avoid negativity. The woman at the post office, who, despite the rude, impatient customer, is kind (a real person, in my town, by the way). The man at the store who always asks how you’re doing, says “Have a great day,” and means it! It is not about what they do, it is about how they do it. And you know what? I’d rather interact with any of the aforementioned than any “fancy”, rich, or “important” person. I bet you would too. I’d rather BE any of those people.

Admittedly, that’s not always me. I used to believe that if I set my expectations low, I’d always be happily surprised, never disappointed. I was wrong. Now, I believe that if I set my expectations low, that’s what I’ll get. For example, if I think the workout will be difficult and painful, it will be. If I think my workday will be long and frustrating, it will be. However, if I set my expectations high, more often than not, I will rise to the occasion and have a good experience. Others will rise to the occasion, and we will collectively achieve much more than we thought possible, and in a more enjoyable manner.

What I am talking about is a practiced mindset that can totally change the way you interact with the world and yourself. One thing that is clear to me is that this is easier said than done, and it takes a lot of intentionality.

So, how, practically, can one make this shift? I think it has to do, in part, with deciding in advance. But, you say, life isn’t predictable! How am I supposed to do this? That’s true, but with some effort and repetition, you can not only impact your reaction to what you can control, but to what you can’t.

You can choose your own, of course, but here are some simple, practical examples for when life is predictable.

  1. Before you get out of bed in the morning, envision your day, in some detail, and how it will be great. Yes, really, great!
  2. Before you start your workout, imagine how much fun it will be to sweat and listen to music and feel strong during and afterwards.
  3. Before you enter that crowded, busy store during the holidays, imagine smiling at friends and strangers, and enjoy purchasing gifts or meals for loved ones.
  4. Before you start work, and dreaded or boring tasks, anticipate how you will be efficient, and positively affect change, even to the smallest extent.

Here are some practical examples, when life isn’t so predictable. This involves pausing before reacting.

  1. Get cut off in traffic? Before pulling out that certain finger, take a breath, and imagine, perhaps, that other person didn’t see you or is experiencing an emergency.
  2. Receive a rude email? Before firing off a less-than-ideal response, re-read the email with a new lens. Did something get lost in translation? Respond kindly.
  3. Get disappointed by a friend? Before reacting or even disowning them, consider the alternatives. Perhaps there is another side to the story? Perhaps good intent, poor delivery? Give grace.

You get the idea and can apply this to your own experience in life. I hope it helps bring more joy and positivity, even just a little bit.

With love, Sarah

QUOTES

Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions.” — Dalai Lama“

“Our mindsets can limit us or liberate us.”-Ellen Langer

“Wherever you go, there you are“. -Jon Kabat-Zinn

“I’m not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost”– Winnie the Pooh

Do Nothing

sweatherred

Oh, how glorious that sounds and feels. And simultaneously it seems indulgent.

Awhile back, I was in a yoga class and there was a beautiful moment in between poses, where the instructor said, “Do Nothing“. In that moment, I was allowed, told actually, to be still, rest. I had permission. And you know what? it felt AMAZING!

We live in a society that places value on production, money, consumption, and, busyness. We value doing more and less so ourselves as humans. And for what? It’s a sad state we’re in, really. Community and connection, self-care, rest, mindfulness, and presence, all seem like buzzwords. Don’t get me wrong, I place high value on all of these things, but when I’m being honest, my actions don’t often reflect my words. Relatable? Do I really value them? Our actions reflect our values, and that is probably a discussion for another day. Intellectually, I know all those things are critical for my physical and mental health. Intellectually, I also know that if I take care of myself, I will be a kinder mom, friend, wife, colleague, daughter, and community member. I would encourage anyone I know to place the highest value on self.

But practically speaking, in my day-to-day, I ensure I get it all done before I consider rest or self-care. I don’t treat myself as I would a friend. I’m on a hamster wheel of “production”. How sad. Being honest and vulnerable here: “do nothing” sometimes gives me anxiety because I am always supposed to be producing and doing something! 

As a nurse and curious human, here’s what I know: Chronic stress can negatively effect the body: reduced immune function, increased inflammation, weight gain, negative cardiovascular effects, poor gut health, increased risk for cancer…The list goes on. 

Ok enough with the negativity, let’s shift this. I ask myself, I ask you. How often do you “do nothing” , tune in, or feel what you really need? There is such incredible value in slowing down, being still, sitting with our thoughts, or even better NOT thinking, to the extent that is possible. How can we incorporate this into our lives more often? If you’re like me, you might think “well I won’t get it all done” then! No way, can’t do it! I encourage you to do a quick google search on the value of “doing nothing”. I think you’ll receive some enlightening information. Interestingly, there are so many benefits of “doing nothing”: Improved mood, productivity (ironically?), creativity, problem-solving, and much more.

Here are some simple, practical strategies for reducing that chronic stress, increasing self-love (notice I didn’t say self-care, as that can also feel like another item on the to-do list), and doing nothing. I certainly don’t have it all figured out, but I’m actively working on these things: (I realize that providing a list of things to do probably doesn’t feel like “doing nothing”, but stick with me)

Morning: Set the tone for the day. Reflect and consider how to slow down before you ever turn on a computer, touch a phone, or brush your teeth. Before you get out of bed, practice gratitude and set a positive intention for the day.             . Breathe: It can be as simple as in and out through the nose, boxed breathing, or more advanced yogic techniques (breath of fire, etc.).                  Walk: Put the tech away and step outside for even 10 or 15 minutes. Feel fresh air on your face, look around and pay attention (no really, actually) to the sights, sounds and smells around you.                               Sit: Got a meditation practice? Even 5 minutes a day has benefits.       Connect: Maybe the most important? Again, put the tech away (no really, actually) and enjoy a meal or conversation. Do nothing. Just talk, and be together.      

I hope that we can all incorporate even just one of these things every day. I am actively working on it, and I look forward to the experiment.

Much love, and enjoy doing nothing!

Resources:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5137920/

https://www.columbiadoctors.org/news/chronic-stress-can-hurt-your-overall-health#:~:text=Research%20shows%20that%20chronic%20stress,high%20blood%20pressure%2C%20and%20stroke.

https://intheknow.insead.edu/article/benefits-doing-nothing#:~:text=Your%20resting%20state%20is%20a,more%20imaginative%20thoughts%20and%20ideas.

https://www.henryford.com/blog/2022/12/6-health-benefits-of-taking-time-to-do-nothing#:~:text=Benefits%20Of%20Doing%20Nothing&text=Aiding%20problem%2Dsolving%3A%20Breaks%20improve,think%20of%20an%20innovative%20idea.